Fear and Floating

"Do you believe in God the father...do you renounce Satan?" recited the priest. Creepy organ music played. The Don's son was now baptized. Shortly thereafter the bloated bodies started floating face down in the river behind Home Depot. First it was the Ecuadorian, thank you, and then J Kruz. The next floater was Lil' C. I pleaded with the Don to let me off the hook... for old times sake. His reply is not printable, nor is how Luca will butcher my emaciated body.
The Moe Greene effect is nothing new, but for me it has become personal. The Feds say I'm safe. Who trusts the Feds? Just a bunch of lifers who've failed upwardly. My mind wanders into dark places, death stares at me knowingly. The torture is when, where, and how. I wake up aware that the Don doesn't sleep and ask myself if this is the last day. Sometimes I want it to be, praying it's quick.

Ron Kut 1996-2008

Ron was a good kid. He was a bright ambitious boy who had dreams. I had come to know Kut during the waning days of Goose and thought of him as a rising star. For a 12 year old he could pound mayors by the dozen and looked older than Hornings. He had a funny way of observing the worst in people and disregarding the good. I loved the little rat. It's truly a loss for us all to lose such potential. I summoned Kulpa to provide justice and a proper burial for the youngster and was blindsided. He launched into a tirade that spared no mercy for the deceased young man. "Justice!" he screamed,"justice was that faggot ripping his a-hole to shreds!". It hit me like a brick wall, I immediately knew Kulpa wacked the poor little bastard with the Palin dildo glass. What a sick fuck I thought as I dared to look at his crazy homicidal face. "Kut was not long for this earth PTJ, he had balls, but he was a fuckin mess!" I felt like I was talking to the devil himself. I needed a priest, but I was left with Kulpa. "He had it commin, he was a maverick, to big for his britches, he wrote his own obituary, that gay little son of a bitch!" It had all the earmarks. The Don and Kut were engaging in man boy sex, and Kut was ready to cut and run. No way the Don was going to let that happen so he jammed the glass up the little prick's ass. Then the cover up ensued: Tragic accident, RNC recall, Palin dildo flawed... flawed my ass! I used to fear the Don, but no longer. PTJ has gone into the witness protection program because of that poor little fella's fate. I can't live in a world where the neo-cons are ass raping our future with heinous butchery.

Palin Pale Ale

There's a big buzz brewing over Goose's latest curious concoction. In a last ditch effort the dying edifice is waisting $150,000 in Cut N' Run funds as a diversionary tactic. The fading frugal franchise is aiming to silence Cut n' Run critics by buying all ingredients retail(non C n' R)in a tax dodge, buying frenzy freak out. The extravagant shopping spree will produce an Ale that looks great and tastes great, but has no head. Joe the Brewer has been working his fingers to the bone so he can serve this magnificent PPA to real Americans who can afford the upper class brew, not Elitists. This ostentatious libation will be served in a designer glass and is projected to cost around $1200, and you get to keep the glass! Joe will get to pay $100 for a sip which he will be grateful for.

Cut n' Run Ale

The Goose is now the proud recipient of a posthumous Life Time Achievement Award. The venerable institution's tireless work over these last 20 years has been heralded as unprecedented by the Great American Brewing Society. The press release reads, "No other brewery has overcome inevitable death with such denial and flavor." To add icing to the farewell cake the Goose was also handed an edgy Honorable Mention Award for their Cut n' Run Ale. Made with common household products the judges were said to have been geeked up by the "cut and run" style that seemed, by one judge's review, to use whatever was left in the hopper including kettle cleaning products. He added that it kept him awake for over a week, and he couldn't stop talking about it.