Bitter Sea Captain's Galley Swamped

It was supposed to be a beach party to end the season instead the party is over for the gritty little boat house by the steel mills. Unprecedented flooding in the region forced municipalities to spew billions of gallons of raw untreated waste into Lake Michigan when sewage systems became inundated. The resulting Tsunami of crap forced many residents at the "bottom" of the Lake to flee to higher less fetid ground. When reached by satellite phone Greg Wootwart, the man some call "the most interesting man in the world", was quoted as saying, "hold on, here's the deal." He then trailed off before realizing he hadn't been asked a question yet. "I was getting ready to have a party today", he stammered, "and the next thing you know I'm jamming all of my worldly possessions into my car." The Bitter Sea Captain saved most of his nautical gear and all of his Amazon Herbs. Lost was his prized vintage Santa Claus suit which may have been the toughest blow. "I wasn't thinking Christmas yet and that's gonna cost me", said an emotional Wootwart fighting back tears. "If there was a God THAT wouldn't have happened!" cried the former Santa pointing at his sullied red suit, "there is no God!" Today it was by no means a day at the beach for residents like Wootwart of Miller Beach which now appears to be by far more of a cesspool.